“I just don’t think I can pull it off”
I can’t tell you how many times I hear that during a show. Certain bags, gold jewelry, and always the bandanas, seem to make people uncomfortable in some way.
I fall into this trap too, thinking that I wouldn’t look good in bandanas or hats and that I wasn’t “pulling it off”.
But a couple of years ago I had seen this quote on Pinterest:
"You owe it to yourself to become everything you ever dreamed of being."
And it kind of made me stop in my tracks. In so many areas in my life, I always felt that there would be a time in the future when I would do certain things. When I get older I’ll start wearing heels to go out, or I’ll wear lipstick when I have a salary.
Whether it’s our own unfounded rules that we make for ourselves or rules that we follow in the fashion world that is dictated by no one in particular and are enforced by us only in our head. I know that I have held myself back from things that I have always wanted to wear because I was listening to these rules.
A lot of these things that I was hesitant to embrace or do or try were things with my appearance. I think many of us have insecure moments with things that we wear and how we feel and how we look. I think that once we find something that works we get scared to rock the boat or try something new because we have all heard comments about our appearance that we had never asked for, and trying something new with the way we look and wear makes us all feel incredibly vulnerable.
Just this last year I had decided that I was going to be a hat person. I spent so many years seeing women in hats and being envious of their confidence to wear them and how cool they looked. A hat to me seemed loud and bold and like it called attention to the wearer.
Is any of that true, probably not, it’s just that I was scared to take up space and was shy and scared to be noticed. It also didn’t help that for a few years I would be teased by my mom and sister about wearing hats and it made me feel self-conscious when I would try them on.
So when I got those beanies in the shop from Mimi & August I loved the colors and style and loved how they fit and how it made me feel, that I didn't even care how they looked, and that is the moment that changed how I saw things.
When we think we can’t pull something off, it has way less to do with what we look like or think we look like it has everything to do with confidence and how we feel. The person who is breaking fashion rules or wearing an amazing look, that we are a bit in awe of is someone who is feeling confident because their style brings them joy. We are seeing someone who loves what they are wearing.
When I wear a hat now it’s like I’m reminded of this lesson, again and again. And you know what the funny thing is, I get compliments on my hat all of the time.
And when people say I wish I could pull that off I say “oh but you can”.
Buy the hat or bandana that made you stop in your tracks, the one that you want to love. Do it for your confidence. Do it for your joy. Do it for your future self.